Monday, December 19, 2005

at the end of the year,


What I feel is just appreciation. Looking back at my past, this year was the best year, seeing many interesting and significant people, getting involved with art projects, and djing. All were coming from people's connections. For me, life is all about people and I thank nothing but people. Among billions and billions people, I encounter certain number of people and from there only a few people will remain as close friends. That is just a mystery, and I like the feeling of this wonder. This summer, I was asked by a person in one of parties, "What is your favorite animal?" as a psychological test. "A human being," I immediately responded. "....," he could not analyze it. I don't have particular affection towards any animal, as they are in their own world, which has nothing to really do with me in an emotional level. I just love people and things that are created by people. Even if I have a hard time with somebody, at the end of day, I thank him or her, as they give me a lesson to learn something. (Not in the middle of difficulty though.) I like sharing things with people without force and I could share a lot with a lot of people though art and music. Therefore, this year was the best and I can’t express how much I appreciate all. Thank all for all.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Directly to my soul

I went to the Neue Galerie last Saturday to see the show of Egon Schiele. I am a big fan of his works. He depicts a human with only lines and strong colors. It was compelling to see that lines and colors can evoke sensitive human feelings. By omitting backgrounds or any ornamental thing, his drawings are heightened various human emotions with intricate use of the lines. Those human emotions are, of course, universal and beyond time. Therefore, you would associate some of his drawings with yourself. Depending on your state of mind, different drawings will speak to your heart. In my case, his self-portrait with red eyes talked to me that day, as I was not feeling good. When I visit there again, it will be different. After the show, I stopped by the bookstore and I found a book of Rilke; Rilke on Love and other difficulties. I read his book, called," Letter to a young poet," long time ago. This book inspired me, and it became one of my bible books. What was great about the book was to acknowledge about his struggle, concerns, questions about life, and desire to learn. All of them were also my concerns, struggle, question, and desire to learn. I feel as if I were having a conversation with Rilke, having a cup of tea. It is a bit depressing to know that no matter how the technology advances, human's inside has not progressed so much. However, I was relieved about the fact that I was not only one who felt like Rilke had felt. Feeling empathy always gives me great encouragement, assuring me like," If he or she lives despite the difficulties, I can live as well." Being honest to yourself is hard. People like Egon Schile or Rilke were surely honest to themselves, therefore, their creation coming from their soul speaks directly to my soul.

Monday, December 05, 2005

legend of snow

When I opened my window, I found the ground slightly covered with snow last Saturday. Wow! I jumped. I love all about snow. I feel uplifting when I see everything completely covered with pure white and dazzling powder snow. I feel so calm and holy, when I hear the sound of falling snow. "SHIN SHIN" is the description of the sound of falling snow in Japanese, which is hard to translate in English. Try to say it, then you may get a sense of this. I have my legend about snow: Everywhere I go, I seem to bring snow. Since I moved into NYC, the coldness of the winters has been breaking the records, having heavy snows. People said to me in my first year of NY, " This year is the coldest winter for a few decades, you are unfortunate." Second year as well as my third year, people told me the same thing. "Huh?" When I was in Athens for vacation 2 years ago, a big snowstorm hit this town. Not only that, I caught the moment of falling snow in the top of the hill, which was the highest point in this town. People there told me that it never had snowed until then for hundred years. It means that they never had seen it in their life, unless people were over hundred years old, which was hard to find. All were, of course, excited and everyone started taking picture of it. The funny thing was that they had no idea about how to drive in snow. As another example, when I went back to Japan two winters ago, I went to Nagano prefecture for hot spring. Then again, a big snowstorm hit aggressively, just when we arrived in the town. When I woke up next morning, the town was completely all white and the accumulation of it was like about 30". People there told us that it had been long time, since they had that much of snow. I stop here, although I have more stories about snow. Anyway, I was born in the coldest time of the year, February, so it is natural that I love snow. Regarding my legend, I feel as if god in the sky gave me a present, called "snow.” My friend once said to me, " Don’t come back to Japan, because you always brought cold wind." Well, I am sorry my friend, but I am going back to Japan soon again. So, let's see if my legend is still valid.