Friday, November 21, 2008

The winter has hit the city.


Yes, my favorite season, the summer, is officially over and I just woke up from a long autumn-sleep. The brutal cold wind has swept away all the colored leaves and the summer memories. There is no reminiscent of the summer. Now It is a time for me to accept the end of it and embrace this piercing winds on my face.
There are two things that I can't stand:lukewarm coffee and lukewarm season like the fall. Black or White. Hot or Cold. Yes or No. Bright or Dark. I say, don't give me "in-between." Well, it may sound cool but it is the contrary: I can’t be cool AT ALL about dealing with transition. The sunset, the fall, the end of a good trip or anything transitional makes me feel sentimental and I cry. This fall, in fact, it was harder, as not while ago, I had my broken heart in a one-sided road with my friend whom I had been so so attracted to for over 3 years. Those years of my fantasy were over. Feeling cold is doubled up now in my body and heart. It is hard to accept reality. It is painful to be rejected by someone I really liked and wished for, even though I feel grateful that I met someone like him and I felt how I'd felt. With my mind absent, I have been in mourning period, yet this cold air inexorably shakes my head up. "Hey, you! wake up. Otherwise you will die,” like a call out to somebody who had an accident in the snow mountain and was waiting for a rescue. So I wake up from a doze and feel alive.
In thirty something years, I have been through so much in life. I was in the black holes, the dark side of the moon, the furious jet coaster like trip, the hell or what ever. When things get in my ways, I find strength in me. When I am on the edge of the cliff, I find a balance. In crisis, my mind gets sharper. My weakness is to be in transition and once I fall down in the hole, I’m well trained to get back in the game again.
The summer ended and so did my long love. The winter has come and I am so alive. Yes, It is a time to accept those ends and it is a time for me to embrace my solitude.