Julian Dashper.....

It was a group show entitled Atomica in 2005 when I first encountered an artwork by a New Zealand based artist, Julian Dashper at Esso Gallery, New York. It was, indeed, the very first show that I had been involved in the gallery. As a new intern, I clearly remember that my hands were a bit shaking with a sense of nervousness, hanging twelve clear vinyl that were recorded the sound of nuclear experiments in NZ. There was sheer elegance beyond the conceptual approach to his work and I loved it.
Since that show, Julian and I'd started communicating with each other via only email up until his solo show at the gallery in Spring 2007. Even through email, I could know and feel that he was a warm, generous, positive and beautiful human being. When I finally met him for the first time, we hugged each other tight as if we had known for a long time, or we had been a long term friend to each other.
As much as I was excited about getting to know him and his work more, I was shocked to know that he had been suffering from cancer and before he came to NY, he'd just had a major surgery, which left scars and stitches on him.
Yet, I never saw him lamenting about it. He was grateful and excited about being alive and having his solo show in NY. His enthuasism about anything lightened everybody around him---even a memo that our art handler had used for calculating the measurements to install all the work. " Wow, I want to keep this! this is a piece of art!" Like a kid, he held the memo in his hand with a curious smile. He gave all of us energy---positive energy. Right, he had never ever betrayed my first impression on him till now.
Last fall, he visited NY again for a group show in PS1 that his work was included. He brought me a small bag made out of a Japanese newspaper. " I found this in a museum and I got to buy this for you!" Sadly, that became the last chance when I had real conversations with him.

Today, A sad news that he had passed away as of July 30, 2009 was delivered to me. He was only 49 year old, a great artist, human being, husband and daddy for his kid.
I was in devastation and my heart and stomach were ached. I meant to send a letter to him before I'd left NY. I meant to send my selection of Music to him to cheer him up after his second major surgery. All were undone, just because I took him his life for granted. I thought that he would be fine. Yet, this idea was diminished and I lost a chance to do anything for him. too late. away too late.......... I feel like puking up on myself.
Facing death is the hardest thing in one's life. Still, I am in illusion where there was no death.

Julian, my dearest, you are in my heart. I am truly grateful that I'd met and got to know you and your work. You yourself inspired and uplifted us. Your work that questions about the art world with a humor and irony, that provokes a sense of longing for communicating to the world due to the geographical distance and that has nothing but beauty, I will never forget. Your curiosity, your innocence, your warmth, your smile, your generosity, your caring, I will never never forget.
I may your soul rest in peace.
Thank you, truly and genuinely.

much love.

http://www.essogallery.com/Frames/Directory/Dir_frame.html
http://www.essogallery.com/Frames/Directory/Dir_frame.html

image: Julian Dashper, Untitled (1996), 1996, vinyl on drumhead, 16" diameter
courtesy of artist and Esso Gallery