rain and tears

The city was crying and I was crying for a week. Walking in the continuous rain, I, for the first time in my life in NY, thought about going back to my home country, feeling drained. My application for a working visa failed. Last Friday, I was told that the immigration shut down for any application earlier than the expected day. When my lawyer sent it, it was already too late. I cried like a baby on that day. I could not tell my mother for a few days, as I didn't want her to be too worried. This incident turned my life upside down. Since that day, I have been running around to get any helpful information regards to the visa. I worked, but could not focus too much. I prepared all the documents for another kind of visa. At night, in my bed, in the dark, I cried, feeling terrified weary and lonely. For one week, my stress level reached to the maximum. In order to just stay in this country as a foreigner, you have to rely on something or someone, unless you are super-famous or important. However, nobody can secure your life. I wondered if it's better to accept this and leave this country. Maybe that could be my fate. It was too much to bear this fact all alone...At the same time though, many people tried to help me on this, giving me some information, coming to see me and encouraging me. Everybody is busy in this city, yet people made an action just for me. I cried for that as well. There, then I felt that I could not leave here for that only reason. I have my life and beautiful friends here. That fact makes me more feel upset with this situation. I just don't have a paper...JUST a paper to be officially accepted by the government in this country. I know that everything happens for a reason and the outcome would do the best, so I will have to see soon if my fate is still in in this city or not. Especially now, there is nothing that I can do about.