not a turkey, but my friend.

Today is Thanksgiving Day, and so? I don't know about it and don’t remember what I did on that day for last 3 years. I never really had a turkey and I am not crazy about it anyway. It is cold out there. I talked to a good friend of mine on the phone and found out that she was leaving NY for Spain next month. It was not surprising news, as she had been telling me that she would move back to St. Sebastian, if she passed the job interview that she'd had last summer. I am happy for her, as that is what she wants, but I feel sad at the same time. After hanging up the phone, I almost cried, missing her already. My good friend, Orvorkki, left for Finland last summer. Again, I had to say good-bye to one of my closest friend in NYC. Before, I traveled a lot and met a lot of people and separated in the end. Some are still connected, and some are not. One point of my life, I lost two friends forever. One died by leukemia and one killed herself at the same year. That year, I could not really deal with this eternal separation. " Why do I have to see new people, if I have to say good-bye to them sooner or later? I don’t want to live anymore then." I was depressed and sad, so I decided to take 10 days' meditation retreat course in Kyoto to calm myself down. I know of the philosophy that everything in life is fleeting in my brain, yet it is hard to really let things go. I guess that I was too vulnerable that time. All my life, however, I could meet beautiful and precious people, because I had traveled and I have been in NYC. I remembered all those memories of the people, even if I get disconnected now. Those memories are something intangible but precious that you can never buy with money. Plus, how can I deny and refuse the fact that seeing people is giving such pleasure and inspiration? No, I can't. When I was little, my dream was to simply see as many people as possible. Even though it is still hard to face separation, I still want to keep seeing new. Today is Thanksgiving Day. I will not remember what I am doing, but I will remember about the news that my close friend will leave NY for good.