Dear mother

It has been over 3 years since I left Tokyo. It was not easy for me to get to this point where I finally felt included in this city.
You have been always supported me. I could not get though all the claps here without you. I have been thinkig of you, so today, I just want to say thank you.

You may not know that it was hard for me to have made a decision about my moving into NY. You brought me up by your own. You once told me that you had thought about killing yourself and me, when I was born, as my dad and your husband left us without any financial support. You fought against the man dominated society all alone, and built up your own business without any help from men. I once held a grudge toward you, as I was always alone in our home. You were preoccupied with making money to bring me up, so I felt neglected mental support from you. You tried to control my life, expected me to have an ordinary life. If that satisfied me, I could have followed your desire. I could not. Something about it suffocated me.

We fought a lot. We cursed each other a lot. I run away from you, living in many different places. In the end, but, I always came back to you, as I felt guilt and my escape did not work out. After my long-term resistance, we managed to get along well with each other. It was not an easy road, right?

Honestly, I still feel guilt for having left you alone, but I needed to. I needed to separate myself from my dependence on you.
I needed to know about who I am, I needed to see the world through my own eves, stand strong with my own legs, touch with my own hands and feel everything with my heart.

I am aware that you hide your weakness by pretending to be strong. You hide your shyness by having a sharp tongue.
I know your vulnerability, even though you don't show others or me. I know your deep compassion to people beneath your toughness. You are an innocent and beautiful human being, even though people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong energy.

I love you mom. Your armors were thick, but I know who you are.
I love you mom. And I am proud of having been born as your only daughter more and more. Your value for life is slightly different from mine, but about the essence of life, I have learnt from you by just seeing you and your life.

I thank you.
I thank you for your existence.
I thank for myself as your daughter.
I thank for our karma to be family.
Always love