God

I sometimes feel like giving up on all aspects of life. It doesn’t mean that I want to kill myself, but want to isolate myself from the world and be a monk or so. I sometimes wonder why I am trying so hard to accomplish something...In the end; I will die and cannot take anything with me. When I was little, I felt that this planet was not the place for me, and I missed my home. Without knowing where my home was, I prayed to the night sky," Please let me go home." I wanted to know the reason why I was born, why I was Natane. I am still figuring out the answer. I am not religious, but I believe in the existence of the immense force in the universe. One may call it a god. When I feel uneasy, lonely, or uncertain, I look up at the sky and ask for help. When I feel connected with people or something that is created by people, I am happy. That is why I am here in NY and getting involved with music and art, but then, I sometimes lose my true purpose of doing this, getting caught up with superficiality in the world. Tonight, I feel lost again...yet tomorrow will be another day.