Home, Sweet Home

In the beginning of this year, no actually, for half the year, I felt as if I lost my foot. I could not find home anywhere. For 6 years, even in the middle of the hardest time, an idea of leaving NYC never occurred to my mind, yet, this year, I considered about a choice of going back to Japan, my home country, for the first time. Why? You know why if you live here. So, to me, my stay in Japan this summer was experimental actually. Not that I was realistically thinking. All I want to see is how I could fit myself into life in Japan. The result? Well, I have to say, "I am so happy to be back to NYC." Most of my old buddies were not in Tokyo anymore and some settled down building own family. And after my 6 years absence, I lost in touch with some. I could have tried to find them, but not in the mood. After all, what could we talk about? Interestingly, then, I actually bumped into my friend/an artist not from Japan but all the way from NYC. He tapped me on my shoulder in the middle of Shibuya, in the middle of the day, in the middle of troop of Japanese. I almost had a heart attack, as I thought somebody was stubbing me or something. (now, Tokyo is not so safe.) Then here he was. "Are you stalking me or what?" I said to him. He was laughing. This was the sign -- I'm ready to go back to NYC. Then, I came back. It has been just for a week or so. I have been working even on my arrival day and seeing all my friends after work. I'm super-duper happy. I have my nest! I have my friends! I have work! I have built up life here in NY and am still building and I love it. People often say, "this city is all about money, status, ambition, fame, vanity and there is no intimacy here." So, they leave. I don't disagree at all about this "wannabe" feeling in the city, yet, there is love around me here. I have those friends who can just sit next to me when I am down. I have those friends who can joke around. I have those friends who can argue with. I have people who work together. I have a little girl, my friends baby, who calls me "Tatane," who says and jumps onto me," I want Tatane." I have my own family here.
Last night, I had dinner with one male artist. We started conversing with two guys sitting next to us and ended up going to another bar afterwards. One in the advertisement biz and the other in sound biz actually know about “contemporary art.” We talked, joked around and laughed as if we had known for years. The typical night in NY. Always, a bit of miracle will come to you here, as long as your heart is open. Home, Sweet Home. I am back!