Last monday,

I received a notice that I got the working visa. This was a” third time is lucky" situation. Literally, I tried twice and was rejected twice. On the first rejection, I cried like a baby. On the second rejection, I was like "Oh, well.” No tears. This time, I was like "...” Despite the fact that I was so eager to get the visa back then, by now, my passion to wanna stay in NY has seemed weakened. Just a few days ago when I got this notice, I was sleeping in my bed in a loft space like a usual night and loud noises of mice running around frantically in my ceiling woke me up in the middle of night. I’d pretty much acknowledged that they had been running around in a space in between my ceiling and the floor in upstairs. Yet, I was generous enough to let them live under a term and condition that they were in this between space. Yet on that night, the noises were too loud and close to almost feel them around me. I jumped out of my bed, turned on the light and stared at the ceiling. Then, I found a few small halls… "NO.” “ NO-NO-NO-NO." INVASION!!! I almost puked up. I covered the holes with a cardboard and layers and layers of duck tapes without breathing. I moved to my sofa in my main room, which is lower than the loft space, which means relatively far from the ceiling. 1 minute, 10 minutes, 15, 20, 30 minutes passed, but I was wide-awake, imagining a chance that mice get all over my body. "Ok. Enough. This is it. I want to go back to Japan." Especially after my stay in Maui Island and in my depression period, mice’s attempt to invade my apartment killed a glimmer of hope to convince myself that NY is such an inspiring place to live. “ Yes, this is the city that enables me to meet people from all over the world,” I kept telling myself over and over again whenever I felt depressed. Yet on that very night, it didn’t work. " I am already depressed enough, I can't live in the city where the population of mice is bigger than New Yorkers any longer.” Cynically enough, 2 days after this happening, I got the notice. I laughed at myself. "When I wanted, I could not. When I don’t care for it, I get it.” It seems that this is a universal law. “Oh God, but, if you say so, I will stay…. There must be something for me to learn, I guess.” In terms of mice? I am still traumatized reacting every single noise from outside of my apartment. If that "universal law" is valid, then, I should pray like, “ Please show your faces here.” Perhaps?