Family

Due to a spring break from work, I have been catching up with my dearest "family friends." These days, I was too preoccupied with work as well as work related meetings, dinner and hangouts. For a person who doesn't have family in the city, it IS precious to have them, which makes me feel rooted. So far, I saw 3 couples with kids. Each couple differs and keeps his own life style. Yet, one thing that each seems to share with is that all has some issues. (I don't want to reveal the details, since they are none of our biz and private.) What I respect is that all manages to maintain the relationship. Anyway, there would be no single couple in the whole world who doesn't have an issue. How many serious relationships did I have by now? "8. " None of them didn't work out and I have been single for 1 year. Even though I feel lonely once in a while, I have been embracing absolute freedom: I don’t have to cook when I don't want, I can sleep until I want, I can leave my clothing on the floor, I can watch silly TV programs without feeling guilty, I can be naked and dance at the same time, I can eat take-out food without putting it on the plate, I can leave a party without convincing the other or waiting and so forth. Do I sound pessimistic? In reality, I have to tell you, "these small things could lead a huge argument." I get so used to living alone that I can't imagine myself living with somebody. To be honnest, I am scared of showing my laziness or dullness. To keep a relationship alive is hard enough. When it comes to this "living-together-situation, I have no idea what it would be like or if I can deal with it in the first place. Yes, in the back of my head somewhere, I still dream about finding a guy for me and building up the relationship together though looking back at my past relationships and seeing my family-friends, my fantasy seems now too far to come true. I guess I am not ready yet. ( I never was.) In the mean time, to hang out with my family friends is just enough. I am grateful that I find my family in the city.