"How old are you!?"

guys at delis ask me with such variety of accent, every time I buy a pack of cigarette. (I don't usually carry my ID with me.) I make my face like," come on!" Then I go, " I am 3X years old," which is one of the most embarrassing moments. Oh, the worst case is an occasion when a good-looking guy stands and waits to be served after me. My remark usually froze them for a few second as if they saw a mouse. Sure, They see me being not old enough to smoke (so do I look a teenager?), so they expect me to lie about my age. Yet, they never expect me to drop much higher number than what they assume. Therefore, here, silence is born. They stare at me, reach their hand to the tobacco and throw it at the counter. These three actions take place in an incredible fast speed, which is almost invisible and suggests they want me to leave right away. So, I leave like a criminal or something. "Damn." I look down with feeling of humiliation. Oh well, my BD is coming up this week. I will get one year older than now and I will not reveal my age. It becomes a big joke to me: I look away-too-young. Right, Asians age well. Yet, I look young even in Asians' circle. I have a baby face, my voice sounds like a kid and I behave like a kid. I look at myself in a mirror and from any angles I don't look like 3X years old lady. I take a look at my photos in Hawaii, the recent trip. With suntan, a mini skirt and tank top, I can be, well, a teenager. Freaky almost. If I dress up, I look like a kind of young girls who make lots of effort to look grown up. I was far from what 3X years old woman would be like in my imagination when I was little. My age is not catching up with not only my appearance, but also associated social matters with the age. No marriage, no kids of course, no great career, what so ever. Then, I sometimes call my mom to be confirmed if my decision is right, after I make my decision for soemthing. This is not surely something that a mature grown up person will do. I fly thousand of miles to be far from her to be independent emotionally. But, I end up depending on an international call. I hate that. Well, I don't want to look old with winkles, but I do want to look like close to my age. The gap between my actual age and my appearance is just getting bigger and bigger. Then I wonder, "What about those years and years of my experiences? "Didn’t they give me any mature thoughts and insights?" I know there is nothing that I can do about it. "Just acknowledge your difference from others, and just stick to it. You know, that is the thing that makes you unique," a pop star said on a dance contest TV program, which is my favorite show, last night. (Oh, dance! Love watching it, but does a 3X year old woman watch and possibly like this kind of TV program?) Anyway, right, stick to it. I guess I will have to stick to my freakiness in a long run.